"The Story of a Bowling Marriage"

A Fairy Tale Written to Commemorate The Golden Anniversary of Billie Jean Gallaway and Stanley Harold Workman
Married July 31, 1953, celebrated with SASBA Friends, July 26, 2003

Author, Jeanne M. Addington
QM, SASBA Red Hat Society

  Once upon a time, long, long ago when the world first began, man went out to hunt, using sticks and stones to kill game to feed his family.

  One night while sitting around the campfire, bored with trading hunting stories with his equally bored buddies, one of our manly ancestors came up with the idea of poking his hunting sticks into the ground in a triangular arrangement of ten sticks.  He began chunking stones at the sticks to see how many he could knock down.

  Now this soon became a very popular pastime with our manly ancestors.  They learned to carve sticks with flat bottoms so that they would sit flat upon the ground.  That made them easier to knock down.  They discovered that by polishing a round stone and rolling it at the sticks, they could knock down more sticks - although many times the 10-stick would not fall and this caused much anguish and gnashing of teeth among our manly ancestors.

  So our manly ancestors began to spend many hours and much money searching for just the right stone - one that would knock down all ten sticks.  And some of our ancestors had so many stones they invented the wheel and fashioned a rolling cart to carry their many stones as they traveled from campfire to campfire to compete against each other.

  And many arguments ensued - for you see some of our ancestors rolled stones with their right hand and some rolled stones with their left.  And great controversies arose among our stone-rolling ancestors about the condition of the stone-rolling campsites.  And those who rolled stones with their right hand thought those who rolled stones with their left hand had the advantage; while those who rolled stones with their left hand were sure they were unfairly treated.  And sometimes our stone-rolling ancestors would severely chastise the owners of the campsites and would chisel unkind messages to each other on cave walls.

  But, no matter!  Even though our manly ancestors could not agree on left or right, advantage or disadvantage; and even though none of them could ever find the perfect stone that would always knock down all ten sticks; they continued to play the game - hour after hour, day after day, week after week, year after year. 

  And so the game of bowling was born and many of our manly ancestors became "bowling addicts"!  And when they were fifty years old, they became "senior bowling addicts" and formed a group called SASBA and continued to travel from campfire to campfire, trying to knock down all ten sticks.

  Now these "senior bowling addicts" needed very special wives.  They must be able to travel from campfire to campfire, week after week, without complaining.  They must be able to sit patiently for hours upon end, watching their husbands roll stones at sticks over and over again.  They must be able to listen to their husbands recount each and every stone roll and how he would have knocked down more sticks if he had just used a different stone.  The wives also had to be strong and fleet of foot because sometimes their husbands would send them out to the cart to fetch a different stone.  And some wives had to keep track of all the stones that were thrown and all the sticks that were knocked down.

  And so the organization of "Sisters Associated with Senior Bowling Addicts" was formed.  And sometimes these "sisters" would all get together and dress in purple and wear red hats upon their heads and go out to lunch and laugh and giggle and have fun so that they could keep their sanity and continue to nod and smile and watch their husbands roll stones at sticks.

  And when a sister had watched and smiled and listened without complaint for fifty years, her sisters would honor her by each placing a red feather in her hat.

  Tonight, the SASBA Red Hatters are here to honor one of our own - Billie Jean Workman - who for fifty years has patiently followed Stan from campfire to campfire, watching him roll stones at sticks, listening to him recount each and every stone roll, and occasionally fetching a different stone from the cart - all with a smile on her face.

  In honor of this special occasion and as a tribute to Billie Jean's perseverance, her sister Red Hatters will each come forward and place a red feather in her hat.

  And, as all good fairy tales should end - they lived happily ever after - smiling and nodding, traveling from campfire to campfire, throwing stones at sticks.